The husband is dressed for a walk in the country in February.
Wife: You look like an old nutter.
Husband: Well, I am an old nutter.
Wife: You look worse than an old nutter. Those pink shorts are baggy and horrible, and the jumper’s dying. In fact, it’s dead. And the hat caps it. You’ll probably be picked up and taken to a place of safety.
Husband: I’ll take my chances.
Wife: Couldn’t you wear those navy blue shorts?
Husband: They don’t fit any more. I should throw them out.
Wife: Keep them. They might fit again when you get cancer.
Husband: I could wear these pale blue ones.
Wife: They’re totally unsuitable. They’re for strolling along the prom on a summer’s day. If you wear them now you’ll get them covered in mud and ruin them.
Husband: But shorts are for walking. Why not these ones?
Wife: You don’t understand. You wear different clothes for different occasions. You wouldn’t go to the opera wearing a wet suit or wear a wedding dress in the mountains.
Husband: I love you. If wolves eat me or I’m lost in the forest, remember that.
Wife: If you really loved me you wouldn’t go out looking like that.
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